Home Sense & Sensibilities

Picture courtesy of The New York Times

"A Modernist Temple" of a home recently featured in The New York Times got me thinking about space and aesthetics again. This East Village apartment was constructed and designed to fuse both modern and Indian elements of design, and I considered whether or not a balance was truly achieved, or even possible, as well as what makes any home particularly Indian or modern. I believe that how we choose to define the space around us speaks volumes about our personal histories, and the idea of fusing heritages and identities is particularly close to - home.

This breathtaking home is all clean lines, open space, a bit bare, all light and air. It has all the modernist elements - functional and comfortable form/design, uncluttered, cool and yet not cold, vastness puncutated by the bright and bold. I sighed and longed for the day when I might be able to design such a space of my own. The more I thought about how that space would differ or be similar to this one, the less I saw in it that was warm, comfortable, and "Indian" enough for my tastes and my personal fusion.

The home I grew up in was toppling with one too many pieces of contemporary Indian art, statues of Ganesh, deep and rich contrasting colors, a preference for gold over silver and the bold/abstract over the subtle/petite, and texture. It is decidedly an "ethnic" home. It leans towards the ornate and is nostalgic for some version of a British and/or Victorian aesthetic. In India, I see similar themes. What I've taken from all of this is warmth in color and texture that can accomodate light and air without suffocating it.

This I cannot see in the Modernist Temple, although perhaps I would feel it were I actually able to pay this nice family a visit. For all the "purist" white brightened by splashes of "Indian hues like saffron, persimmon orange and peacock blue" this space is just a little too cool and restrained for my idea of a space that fuses both the modern and Indian. The functionality of furniture tucked behind walls is genius, but I'm a traditionalist when it comes to furniture and don't think I so mind the space it would occupy. In any case, the uncluttered feel of the apartment might have been balanced by a stronger decorative touch.

Two elements that I thought were beautiful, however - the polished cement floor (memories of running around barefoot on an awfully hot summer day on a blissfully cool floor at my grandma's in India) and the wall of ivy over a pool of water. So simple and zen, yet lush.

And so I continue to "work" on my humble shack of a studio 6 months after moving in. The little touches matter in any home, and this is my first draft. The exercise of developing and refining the space around me is, after all, in a sense also one of evolving and redefining identity as well.

Slumdog Continues...

Among other things, the little movie that could has taken over all things media and the blogosphere. I find a lot of these conversations to be immensely interesting, although I'm still puzzled by some of the reactions this movie has stirred. For the life of me, I really cannot understand why. It might be that I've seen one too many Bollywood movies already, but Slumdog Millionare was purely an entertainer for me, and it is with some hesitation that I feel people are reading too much into it.

Reactions to the movie are far more interesting than the movie itself. They reveal much about about the ways in which India has experienced change over the last decade, and consequently, continuous shifts in discourse about those changes. Much of that discourse sounds familiar and is unsurprising, while much of it begs the question as to why a film like this is the cause for so much debate when the problematic cinema that India produces, packaged prettily with its own exxagerations and stereotypes about Western and modern life, rarely result in any.

Two very interesting reads:

The New York Times: Taking the 'Slum' Out of Slumdog

And largely in response to that:
Slumdog: Ben Piven's Fulbright Research on Dharavi

Plus:
The New York Times: The Real Roots of the 'Slumdog' Protests

On Knowing Medical Professionals, Being Indian, & Jury Duty

Speaking of Indians in the mainstream here and here, my cousin called me at 11 pm to share this story. It was certainly worth putting down my hair dryer and pausing Law & Order: SVU for.

So cousin gets called for jury duty. A questionnaire asks if he knows anyone in the legal or medical professions, and he answers yes to both.

During the selection interview, he is asked about the people he knows in the legal profession. He refers to those 2 people.

Then he is asked about the people he knows in the medical profession. His answer was something along the lines of, "Well, I'm Indian...it would be impossible to name all the doctors I know." Chuckles of acknowledgment from the courtroom. This made my amazement at having SVU interrupted by a commercial for RCN starring the second-runner up of last season's Indian Idol even funnier.

I can't wait for jury duty.

The Siege of the Car Trip & My Musical Memory

My younger sister is the one who should have a blog. She is funny, and she works in PR. She is the perfect candidate for blogger-to-be, but instead, one of her great accomplishments has been the creation of a Facebook group called "My Cousin Is a FOB."

While I am, in fact, her sibling and not a cousin, I take responsibility for her aversion to FOB behavior. In case you don't know, FOB stands for Fresh Off the Boat, and describes immigrants (largely Asian) who arrived in this fine country wearing tight Levi's and matching denim jackets. While some FOB criteria have changed, negative stereotypes remain. If you are not an actual FOB like me but can be described as being "fobby," you're in trouble. My sister was inspired by mine and my cousin's (yes, we largely talking about 1 here) raging fobbiness. She made us officers of this Facebook group, and we wear our titles proudly.

One of the many fob criticisms I have received is that my level of knowledge about Indian/Hindi music is far beyond acceptable or normal. It's true that I have an amazing music inventory in this little head of mine, and I have often pondered why. The answer lies in car trips.

Yes, one too many family car trips. If it hadn't been for the Family Car Trip growing up, I may never have been exposed to long hours of Pankaj Udhas, Kishore Kumar and Lata Mangeshkar in the '80s and general Bollywood obnoxiousness in the 1990s while traveling I-95. I may never have actually liked any of that stuff either. But my musical memory is rooted in these tunes, and they formed the early soundtracks of my life.

An innate attachment to making sense of life through poetry and lyrics in a language other than English, classical dance lessons, and accessibility further set me on this treacherous path. By age 9, the History of Dance & Nostalgic Jams was in the works. At age 13, I bought discount CDs at the Indian grocery store and knew the name of every up and coming DJ. In college, I rapidly downloaded both the old and new to create a vast Indian music library.

Don't be alarmed - I listened to Boyz II Men, Nirvana, Greenday, and Mariah Carey just like everyone else back in the day, did my fair share of the club set, and love some alternative music. But I was never quite able to latch onto a genre or artist that particularly spoke to me even later in life. I generally have liked the same qualities in all music that I appreciate in Indian music - a solid melody or beats, something I can dance to, meaningful lyrics. An entirely different soundtrack developed during the teen years, during which I also frantically made mix tapes or bought my special "friend" a Savage Garden single, and lately, I'm dating John Legend. But none come close to my relationship with Indian music (although John Legend is trying really, really hard). Even the entrance of the Dirty Dancing soundtrack just post-Pankaj Udhas couldn't salvage the situation.

Aside from my general tendency to boogie whether the music be Punjabi or Portuguese, I argue that this has much to do with language. For all practical purposes, English is certainly my first, but there is a certain unease with this. My earliest memories are again set to a chorus of Hindi, and as a child I experienced moments of transition in which I temporarily lost my grasp on one or the other, or both. On occasion, in a particularly unguarded or intimate moment, I have the urge to speak it with someone I ordinarily wouldn't. Somehow, Indian music (traditional, fusion, folk, dance, pop, you name it) latches onto and invigorates a neuro-psych pathway - one with diminishing influence and relevance in my life - that only it can keep alive. Compelling stuff if you ask me. Perhaps no excuse to listen to a song called "Desi Girl," but nonetheless, I think others might share a similar sentiment.

And so the result of the siege of the Car Trip is that if anyone ever has any song requests or needs song info, you now know who to go to. I'd be more than happy to offer my FOB services.

Picasso, Martha Stewart, & Me

I recently ordered the above poster to better the feng shui and general life vibes of my apartment. For those who don't know, I moved into this place in a flurry of activity during early September. It was such an alternately slow and yet hasty move that there are a number of things I never really quite took care of. Like buying a paper towel hanger-upper or a kettle. After many late nights assembling cheap furniture, I was a bit pooped by the whole process, and other than cleaning, did little else to make myself feel at home. Until now.

Since some measure of drama had also taken a toll on my good energy & I discovered Ikea (in DC of all palces), the Martha Stewart in me decided to take matters into her own hands and - decorate. Wall decorations became my daily mission, and cushion covers the ultimate prize. I promised not to give my friends advice or wag my finger at them if they just told me one more time - black or brown? My traditionally slow decision-making reached new heights as I undertook this task with a zeal unmatched in other areas of my life. My efforts have led to a somewhat patchwork result, but I feel more at home, and that's what counts.

The Picasso painting pictured above is titled "The Lesson" and is one I've never seen before. I gazed at it longingly day after day before finally purchasing. It brightens up my space, and it puts a smile on my face. It is a blissfully serene painting with a balance of warmth and coolness that puts me in my comfort zone - an area that is always a bit of a contradiction or a balance, depending on how you view it.

I grew up in a house that my parents committed to turning into some modern South Asian (and then some) art/artifact museum, and while my sisters and I somewhat rebelled against it, in my growing and infinite wisdom I now realize how much that definition of space has informed my taste and sense of place. When I look around my apartment, I see their influences everywhere, and feel a mixture of surprise and comfort that is both remarkable and touching.

I Killed My First Roach

And I'm not proud of how. I have nothing against killing bugs, however. Bugs gross me out, as do mice and geckos that slide along the walls in India. ::Shudder:: No, I'm repulsed at my reaction to the very first roach I have spotted in my NYC studio. Ok, second. The first one was a baby of a thing that might not even have been a roach. I don't know WHAT I saw last night was. It was one true mofo of a roach, and I'm not ashamed to say that. It was scurrying along my hardwood floors as if it was ready to take over the place, and all I could think to do was scream bloody murder.

I quite literally screamed such bloody murder that I had to calm myself down in case the neighbors or doorman heard me and rushed to my defense only to find the girl who cried wolf. I danced around. I ran to the bathroom. I ran out. Then I found my can of Raid and went for it. I literally had to chase and douse that thing in Raid before it finally sputtered somewhere between my futon and the silk cushion covers I had accidentally left on the floor.

While it sputtered, I ran to the closet and searched for the right pair of shoes to kill it with. Yeah. Instead of finding the first heavy thing that would do, I decided nothing would do. My daily boots and shoes wouldn't do for fear of wearing the murder weapon all day long and thinking about the roach guck smeared all over to the bottom. Sadly, I settled on my unused sneakers and then went for it. A few whams and bams later, it was all over, but I was still whimpering and yelping to myself like a lunatic.

Then I proceeded to tell everyone I could online that I had just killed a roach and needed a male roommate to kill future roaches for me. I was "ew" all over the place for about half an hour before I finally found it in my heart to give the poor thing a proper burial in my illegal toilet (yeah, apparently it is not "water-saving" and tankless and my super is appalled that I'm the only one in the building who has one - like it's my fault or something).

Whew. One thing I'm not looking forward to having to do again. I don't know how I slept at night. I may have grown up despite the whimpering and screaming.

The Consortium of Pub-going, Loose and Forward Women & The Pink Chaddi Campaign

Whether in India or elsewhere, you have every right to be a part of this consortium. By the standards of some, I most certainly am, and I'm rather proud of it.

I love the humorous response the Consortium (join it on Facebook) has developed to remind members of the Sri Ram Sena of this right:

http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/02/13/indian-women-use-facebook-for-valentines-protest/?hp

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7880377.stm

http://www.sajaforum.org/2009/02/womens-rights-the-pink-chaddi-campaign.html

If you haven't already heard or watched the attack on women in Mangalore pubs this past week which prompted this special gift,
watch this.

Re: Calling Mr. India

Clarification from a friend, whose comment on Indians in the media I referenced in Calling Mr. India:

"So I read your blog post and realized that you were referring to me in the "Indians have entered the mainstream" comment as opposed to the "pimp out your qualifications" comment, which I was wondering about.

Anyway, so I felt compelled to clarify/qualify that statement. It was more of a Indians entering mainstream media (although it goes beyond that in this context).

You have Kal Penn on House, Parmindra Nagre on ER (both prime shows), and Sanjay Gupta on CNN and as Surgeon General - although I guess you could argue that furthers the Indians are doctors stereotype hah. You also have Kelly Kapoor on the Office and that secretary guy on 30 Rock. Are we far away from the day, where in addition to the token black, hispanic, and Asian newscaster, we'll also have the obligatory Indian person on each news broadcast? Who knows, may happen 5 years from now.

You have Obama specifically refer to Indians/Hindus in his inaugral address. You have an Indian-American as a Governor of a state, who's being realistically talked about as a presidential candidate.

You have Vikram Pandit as CEO of Citigroup - an iconic American institution. You have Neil Kashkari as the head of the biggest fund in the world aka the TARP program.

And then of course the prominence of the music influences, the cuisine, etc. - the cultural aspects.

All things we couldn't have imagined 10-15 years ago.

I didn't mean Indians have entered the mainstream, as in that I felt left out of the mainstream while growing up here. I think that's the greatest thing about our country; there's very few countries in the world where you don't constantly feel like an "outsider". So yes, we've never been out of the "mainstream" per se, but there's just generally a greater sense of awareness of India, Indians, and Indian culture.

Hey, maybe I should start a blog hahaha."

NYDidi & Me - Personality Profile

A little while ago, I wrote briefly about a new site South Asian matchmaking site called NY Didi - read here. Some of my criticisms may have been harsh, and so I wanted to acknowledge the creator's obvious thought and effort in building this service - only meant to say that it may not be for someone like me and many of those I know. However, being the glass-full kinda person that I am, and being I'm drawn to things I don't wish to be drawn to, I checked out the site and completed a personality test. Here are the results:

To begin your journey towards marriage, it's important to see where to start. And as we always say, know thyself. So here goes: You are romantic and idealistic. Your kindness and loyalty is valued by those that are lucky enough to know you. You are spontaneous and fun loving. Thinking for yourself and making your own decisions is very important to you. The idea that there is one person out there for everyone inspires you to do your best to find that person.

Of course, nobody is an island, and your community defines so much of who you are. You think it’s important that the leaders of our country have a strong moral foundation. When you spend time around those that are hardworking and loyal, you feel right at home. You understand that marriage is about families joining together to keep traditions alive.

Everyone brings certain hopes and dreams with them to the future, so it’s important to identify what they are so that you can achieve them. You are ready to start meeting people to find the right one to share your life with. You understand that a true loving friendship is the basis of a happy marriage. It seems like you are ready to make a mature commitment to a happy marriage. Marriage is a process of growing together and you are willing to put forth the effort to make it work. You know that happiness in life means having companionship and friendship. Nothing is more infectious than happiness, and you will bring a great zest for life to your marriage. You are ready to create a marriage that reflects who you truly are, and I can tell you now that it will be well worth it when you and your partner open up to each other and form a deep bond.

Now it’s time to find a partner who can help you achieve your life vision. There is nothing more important than who you choose to spend the rest of your life with. So let’s make sure that we think it through. You already know the most important thing for a successful marriage; you are a good listener and you know how to be a friend. It is great that you are aware that structure and discipline are essential to being a good parent. But don’t forget, kids need lots of love too. You are a little messy sometimes. Who can blame you when there are so many more interesting things to do? But remember, when you begin a family you will have to figure out how to juggle even more obligations. You will bring great wisdom to your marriage because you already understand that each twist and turn in life gives you an opportunity to grow.

It kind of saddens me that I'm romantic and an idealist because I try oh-so hard not be. I am also certainly "a little messy" sometimes, but I'm not quite sure in what context this profile is referring to - it could potentially be many. I also find it a little disturbing that I am so defined by my community, because at the heart of it, I really don't think I am. Then again, everyone likes to think they are an island so I should probably just get over myself.

Now, I actually contemplated joining NYDidi. Hey, I'm already on Match.com, so what's the difference? Everyone I met on Match was also a young Indian professional from NY/NJ, and this site won't be doing much but narrowing the field a little bit more. However, I'm on a break from Match for various reasons (which I never quite seem to get to on this thing), and decided that NYDidi was just too much to handle right now.

It could be interesting for those who try it, and I'd love to hear more about NYDidi's progress - you are more than welcome to keep us posted!

Calling Mr. India

Are you there, Mr. India? It's me, Suman. I miss your floppy hat and jacket. And I prefer seeing you in colored light. It's also a treat to watch you boogie with Sridvevi. So can you please not touch Al Roker's feet on national television at the ungodly hour of 8 am? It is far too much for me to handle.

I know you've finally hit it big with "Slumdog Millionaire." I know Bollywood has not been good to you the last decade or so, and you finally have something to gloat about next to the proclaimed kings and princes and knights and ogres of Bollywood.

But see, you have a special place in my heart. You and all your kind belong in a certain category of celebrity and entertainment, and you cannot be taken out of context or evolve. It's practically blashphemous. Don't get me wrong. I do want you all to develop as artists and join the ranks of other international stars, but I don't want you to forget where you came from. Once in a while, it's semi-cool that people seem to know who you are. It's great that Al thinks you are like the Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise of India, but he doesn't actually know about Mr. India. I do. Every desi diasporic community does, too. We won't forget, and we intend to remind others.

A certain former beauty queen who is often referred to as The Most Beautiful Woman In The World has also been trying desperately to move between contexts and worlds. While I don't hold her in as high esteem as I hold you, her jet-setting is also somewhat disturbing to me. Who does she think she is - The Most Beautiful Woman In The World? This princess is supposed to wear awful outfits and prance around well enough to prove that models and beauty queens can act and dance, and that is about all I care to see from her. She can go evolve somewhere else - just not next to my banjo-strummin' Steve Martin in The Pink Panther 2. What will she do if he tries to teach her how to play it and ask her to sing along? Will she offer him her most frequent playback singer???

Someone commented that "we've entered the mainstream," and I don't really know what that means to me. I personally have never felt "not" a part of the mainstream, and what Bollywood star, physician, spirtual guru, businessmen, or politician did or didn't enter it really held little relevance for me. I went through a phase where it was somewhat interesting and cool, but now I'm over it. I'm bustling Great Neck, not Greater Kailash, and I don't know what exactly I should be cheering on or rooting for.

So, your newfound celebrity is sort of crampin' my second-generation style. I hear there is a Mr. India 2 on its way and I couldn't be happier. I just want Anil Kapoor to be Mr. India again.